Week of July 23, 2006 to July 29, 2006

Here is a phone call exactly as it transpired. Not even the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

{Dawn dials the phone, calling Missy Lee}

-RING- -RING- -CLICK-

"Hello?"

"Yo, wassup, bitch?"

"Umm. I think you have the wrong number."

"Oh, umm. Sorry."

-CLICK-

"I like to think that I am a patient, tolerant woman, and that there was no
line you could cross that would make me stop loving you. But last night, you
didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it!"
--Marge

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that
out.

Donut man: Hey, what gives? These donuts are piling up.
Worker: Heh. Yeah, Homer Simpson went on a diet.
Donut man: Oh, no. And I just bought a boat!

Marge: Lisa needs to go to the museum tomorrow, and I think you should take
her.
Homer: Museum? Tomorrow? Oh, oh, Marge, I'd love to, but I was planning
on...
Homer's Brain: Sleeping? Eating a big sandwich? Watching TV? Spending
time with the boy!
Homer: Spending time with the boy! The boy needs attention, Marge.
Marge: Homer, I've been talking to Lisa, and I'm concerned about your
relationship with her.
Bart: Me too, Mom. I think you're drifting apart.
Homer: Shut up, boy.
Marge: Homer, please.
Homer: Marge, you don't understand. I can't do it because...
Homer's Brain: You're trapped. If you were smarter, you might think of
something. But you're not, so you just might as well--
Homer: All right, all right, I'll take her. Lousy brain.