Week of April 23, 2006 to April 29, 2006

I'm feeling a bit lately like I don't quite fit in. I've never been everyone's favorite person. I came to accept that a long time ago. That doesn't mean I like it. I'm sure I react to it badly too which only exacerbates the problem.

I am a nice guy who tries, genuinely, to be nice to people. I work my tail off but I know how to enjoy myself. I'm serious when I need to be but quick with a joke to lighten things up. I feel like there are things to like about myself. Despite that, I still feel like I am on the outside looking in, like I'm tolerated but not fully accepted. Not really part of the group. The kind of guy who is fine to work with but whom you would never invite to a BBQ or even to lunch.

I feel this way at work mostly. But I have felt this way in my own home to some degree too. I even feel this way in line at the supermarket. Like the world is someone else's and I should appologize for intruding in it.

I know that it isn't everyone's responsibility to love me despite my quirks and foibles. But it would be nice if I didn't get the impression from those around me that I am merely tolerated.

Hey, look at what I caught in my newly-painted garage floor.

This poor little guy must have wandered out there while the epoxy was still wet and been overcome by the fumes. It is also possible he was coaxed out there by the cat who left it's paw prints in the paint.